Several months ago, during a horribly difficult time, one of my incredibly sweet and well-meaning friends paid me a compliment and said something about how I know how to do anything and have it all together….in the middle of this HUGE mental and emotional breakdown….and I thought…”oh my goodness, I’m a fraud!” I’m falling to pieces, and people think I have it all together…..or worse, do they see that I’m going to pieces, and think that I THINK I have it all together??
So I descended into this pit of stress paralysis* (yes it IS a thing….) and could not blog for months. I did stuff in and around my home to continue to learn and become better at “making peace and preparedness a part of every day life” ….barely…but I couldn’t say one word about it. And I didn’t do as much of it as I used to…I was just stuck. Fortunately, my stress paralysis passed…funny enough, right about the time my incredibly difficult time passed…funny enough, right about the time my legion of wonderful children went back to school. Suddenly, I was productive again and could think about sharing what I was learning with others. And so I began blogging again.
But it got me thinking….who is the Essential Homemaker?? Is she perfect? Does she have it all together? Is she a paragon of virtue and ability? (And I’m only writing “she” because it’s easier and looks better than “he/she” but guys, know that you’re included.)
I decided it was of the utmost importance to me, to define who the Essential Homemaker is.
So typically, when I want to figure something out, I turn to good old Webster. I find out what the accepted definition of a word is, and go from there. Therefore, consult Webster’s Dictionary with me.
a: of, relating to, or constituting essence : inherent
b: of the utmost importance : basic, indispensable, necessary
So far, so good. I can work with that…..next…
a wife who does work (such as sewing, cleaning, or cooking) at home and usually does not have another job outside the home
Wha??? Now, that I must take issue with. It seems outdated and a little too gender specific. Because I don’t know about you, but I do LOTS of jobs outside the home. I am an Independent Consultant for Thrive Life, I volunteer doing work at the school, and in my church. And I really believe that Homemaking has come to encompass more than just sewing, cleaning and cooking. Additionally, I know MEN who are the homemakers for their family. Perhaps Webster was thinking along the lines of a “Housewife” when he created that nifty little definition.
Homemaking is defined by dictionary.com as a person who manages the household of his or her own family, especially as a principal occupation. NOW we are getting somewhere.
Incidentally, the word Homemaker has somewhat of a negative connotation in the world we live in, where one’s ability to amass money, determines their worth. This, I definitely take issue with. My worth is not determined by how much money I get paid for what I do. My worth is inherent in me, as a daughter of God. It has nothing to do with anything I do. However, my calling in life, that I am privileged to be able to do, is to be a homemaker. To manage my home and raise children, create a safe place for my family, and to do all I can to prepare my family for the future and life that can change at any moment. To create good citizens and Christians who will grow up to raise MORE good citizens and Christians. And here’s the cool thing….homemaking is INHERENT (see above under Essential definition) in me, because of who I am….again, a daughter of God. It is the ESSENCE of my existence. Because of what I believe and what I know. And is is indispensable…I know lots of people manage to survive without a homemaker in the home, whether by choice or necessity and I’m not criticizing anyone who has chosen that path, because that decision is up to each of us. But for ME, I have the INHERENT ability, created in my very ESSENCE, that leads me to be a homemaker, the roll of which is INDISPENSABLE to my family. The Essential Homemaker.
(no my house doesn’t always look like this…it’s just a bad day, haha)
So, am I perfect? Uh….sadly, no. Do I have it all together?? Not even a little. Am I a great guru of amazingness….no. Well, maybe. Uh……no. But I’m open to doing what I feel prompted to do by my Heavenly Father…and THAT is where the amazingness comes in. Being willing to be led by one greater than myself…and performing what I have been called to do…which really means I can’t take any credit for any of it. I’m more of a sink full of dirty dishes while I try to experiment to see if I can make jello with no artificial ingredients/colors/flavors, etc kind of gal. Ninety-eight percent of the time. So, really more of a mess, than amazingness. I haven’t given up, though…I’m still working on perfection.
But I am SHE. The Essential Homemaker. And if you are reading this humble little blog, then chances are you are the Essential Homemaker as well. Because we are trying to do what we feel we’ve been called to do. And that is enough.
*If you have no clue what I’m referring to, go watch Moms’ Night Out….you will die laughing….or sit in a puddle and sob, depending on how close to real life it is at that moment…but either way, you’ll love it. You can thank me later.
Please, please, please (and on and on…yes, this IS me begging) leave me a message. Let me know you’re out there, and that you read my blog. Let me know if you’ve seen Moms’ Night Out and if you can relate.